every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
