All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
