dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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