How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
