Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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