Buhtt sex?
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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