ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
