We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
