he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
This baby is an asshole
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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