Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
