ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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