we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Randomize
