I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
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