I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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