You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
