I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
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