So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Randomize
