found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
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