BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
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