I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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