No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
