God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Randomize
