she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Randomize
