would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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