Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
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