Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
lets start a swedish sibling band together
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
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