tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
this must be what syphilis tastes like
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
And then he peed in my hair
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