i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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