5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize