We need to start having sex underwater more often.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
