I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
