Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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