you turned your livingroom into a bong?
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
