Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
