the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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