sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
