Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
