Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
