She went from zero to smokin in five shots
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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