when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
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