I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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