Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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