The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Randomize
