ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Randomize
