I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
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