dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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