he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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