hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
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