my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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