His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity�
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
