me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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